Upswing | Consistency | Balance | Stress

Upswing:

Running has been going great. I haven't missed any runs, double runs, or workouts at all in months. It's been difficult at times but I have been having a good time with it and have been seeing the results come through in my overall fitness. Workouts are getting better and faster paces feel easier in regular runs too. Racing is coming closer and closer with my half marathon coming up in under 4 weeks now and track meets starting immediately after that, its all lining up well. I am staying optimistic about running the qualifying "A" standard time in the half marathon that'll allow me to compete in the full marathon at NAIA Nationals in May. It will be no small feat to accomplish for me and I do have my hesitation in confidence of actually getting the time standard but focusing on training well and racing hard is my focus for now. Regardless, I am happily training and stoked to be healthy and fit in a way I haven't been for what feels like a really long time (about a year). 

Consistency:

-Daily easy runs near an hour.

-Running twice a day more often than once a day.

-Total weekly time spent running is higher than its almost ever been, and really high quality.

-Diet has never been cleaner and higher in vegetables intake than ever (Mmm veggies).

-Still not really stretching at all but eh whatever!

Balance:

I still watch a decent dose of netflix. I still eat chips just because I like the crunch. I actually bought some BBQ sauce even though I have this kinda odd (health related) aversion to bottled sauces and packaged seasonings... Well it is gluten free, vegan, sugarless BBQ sauce so its hard to feel bad about that haha.

I work, go to school and run, cook and have some sort of personal life, yada yada.. But I am having trouble balancing caring about all of it. I only have so much attention to offer all the things I do in a day or week or month. "Somethings gotta give" right? As long as I keep it all up through this term of school nothing has to give. At least thats the idea! The balancing act feels at times like a really huge accomplishment or skill that should be receiving a huge amount of applause from a giant audience staring in awe. But that is not what people get for the things they choose to do. All we get is the satisfaction of doing whatever it is we're doing. Yea monetary compensation for working, earning some knowledge for studying, etc but what about when it feels like these things are being done for other reasons, less great reasons? It can feel like getting the satisfaction for myself isn't quite worth all the work and the acrobatic balancing act of doing them. 

Have I taken on more than I can handle? The simple answer is yes. I'm glad to recognize this but right now I have to continue dealing with my initial misjudgment of what I can actually do (well) simultaneously. 

Did I mention I do have pretty impressive physical balance... like, an audience would probably applaud at least a little if I walked on a really long hand rail or something like that in front of them. But of course thats not the balance that I am really taking about, and clearly I need to practice this other type of balance a bit more.

Resolution: 

Stress:

I wish it felt more appropriate to write resolution as the heading of this section, but alas--- it doesn't. Stress stress stress. We need stress physically to build or bodies stronger and better than they were yesterday. But it doesn't work without rest immediately following it. A back and forth pattern between the hard stuff and the easy stuff. This pattern can be related to sooo many things. Perhaps the easiest to consider is the natural world. A raging natural forest fire eventually brings healthy and crucial regrowth and revitalization-like a reset button for the area. I like to think about how the shape of a creek changes from one rainy season to the next--or how it doesn't change, based on how much stress is put on it.
Minimizing stress is often times more important than what food we eat. I think so at least. Its just not as easy for me. I can feel hunger, see an apple and a bunch of bananas next to a burger and endless fries with a pit of as much barbecue sauce as anyone could want... And for me, its not very hard at all to eat the apple and bananas, but stress is intangible. It isn't so easy to identify it. And thats what I need to practice more of. Identifying stress that I can control or positively minimize, and then do it. Control the controllables is a common saying, but what I think people (including myself) can easily forget or look past is how much is actually completely controllable. There are very few things in my privileged, convenient, free and open life that I can't positively change and control if not completely then at the very least to some degree.

So, I think next term I may not register for 18 credits. I may improve my study skills and habits. I may find ways to minimize stresses. Maybe find a better way to facilitate the stress to recovery relationship. At the end of the day, I am glad to be actively trying and sometimes succeeding at  improving.

"Never discourage anyone...who continually makes progress..." -Plato